Q1 2025 in motion!
- Namsta The Author
- Feb 25, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 5
Happy New Year (I know, I know.... late.com)!
I originally planned to write this update in December 2024. However, summarising my main points proved murkier than expected.
Before we proceed, please note that the following is based solely on my personal experience. The opinions expressed are entirely my own.
In a previous blog post, 'New Year, New Namsta', I discussed the challenges associated with the courageous endeavour of breaking generational trauma patterns. Otherwise known as generational curses. I always knew the lone wolf path would be a tough one. The post highlighted my limited options due to the challenging environment, which consequently, I chose to leave.
Over the past few months, it has become evident that the process of adjusting my nervous system and the path to healing is an ongoing if not, lifelong process.
Bearing this in mind, let us have a quick re-cap…
2013–2018 | Repeated incidents with 'ReOf' involving emotionally abusive behaviour and exposure to their toxic conflicts (see blog). Concerns raised to elder relatives were often met with advice along the lines of ‘ignore it, they are family’.
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2018 – 2020 | Feeling suicidal and trapped due to my interactions with ‘ReOf’, friends at the time supported my distancing from ‘ReOf’ and their caregiver. An attempt at family counselling with ‘ReOf’s’ caregiver proved futile. |
2020 to present | Through my own 1-2-1 counselling sessions and self-education on intergenerational trauma, I understood how the elders' traumatic childhood experiences had influenced the highly dysfunctional family dynamic I eventually walked away from. Informing the elders about this connection has resulted in collective ignorance and a resounding silence. |
While the sting of rejection from my family of origin felt harsh at the time, their response is unsurprising given the context of Caribbean culture.
Check out the below perspective from Jamaican relationship coach, theminiinsights
Namsta: Navigating a new normal…
As you might imagine, the past decade has greatly shaped my perspective on life. My natural optimism has helped me cope with the psychological burden, and I believe there is always something to learn and grow from, even during difficult times. It is also the biggest blessing to have incredible, family-like friends by my side for which I am grateful.
Ultimately, I consider myself fortunate to reside in an era abundant with resources, both self-help and professional, that provide guidance for manoeuvring the highlighted circumstances.
Last year's most poignant moments, however, were a stark reminder that as humans, we all have our breaking points. The most notable reflection was having to ‘feel’ my feelings as opposed to just intellectualising them. A coping mechanism if not survival tactic, I used to believe was keeping me safe.
You THINK you know but you have absolutely NO idea!
What I have experienced where my family of origin is concerned is by no means uncommon even if it isn’t overtly acknowledged in Caribbean culture.
While I am proud of the significant effort I have put into the essential process of healing, it would be misleading to say that it has not been extremely isolating at times. However, make no mistake about it. The sense of freedom from not having to deal with ReOf’s unresolved intense outbursts, or the ’plastic-fantastic’ denial from my family of origin is unparalleled.
This past Christmas, societal pressures to be strong while remaining positive exhausted me. Given the situations I was dealing with at the time, I felt burnt out and struggled to engage in conversations or even do simple things like replying to WhatsApp messages. I think it is safe to say that avoidance was the preferred flavour of this season.
I also recognised that my reluctance, if not phobia of using WhatsApp originated from interactions with my family of origin on the platform, including abusive messages from ReOf.
Although the suggestions to forget about these individuals are given with good intentions, it can be challenging to implement. After all, the person giving me the advice may not share my circumstances and is likely to have a relatively favourable relationship with their own family members, even if those relationships are not flawless.
Feeling overwhelmed (and recognising that my own energy felt ‘off’), I decided to take a break from social media and interactions in general to relax and reduce anxiety.
Following my hospitalisation for critically high blood pressure in 2022 and subsequent long-term medication regime, recent circumstances reminded me to prioritise modifying my approach to stress management.
In all honesty, I also experienced feelings of confusion and uncertainty regarding my purpose, which were likely due to mental fatigue. Therefore, I saw the time out, if not going under the radar as an opportune moment to realign my focus.
Exploring Life's Potential with Alexis Frank
Throughout 2023 and 2024, social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok provided a significant amount of information relevant to my healing journey.
As we know all too well, it is crucial to be discerning when conducting online research about sensitive matters such as mental wellbeing and trauma. However, I was greatly impressed when I encountered an individual whose perspective resonated with mine.
Alexis Frank, a New York native living in California, is a life coach specialising in mentoring eldest daughter entrepreneurs.
From our initial discovery call, where Alexis offered observations about my circumstances, to participating in her 2025 intention-setting group session in January; Alexis’s guidance has been instrumental in me defining this year’s goals.
Visit Alexis’s website for more information about her transformative coaching programmes. Click here to check out Alexis’s Instagram account. Take a listen to Alexis’s podcast series, ‘F That: Mindset shifts for women to overcome limiting beliefs and heal trauma.' |
With the framework for setting my 2025 intentions in place, I intuitively knew that a brief change of environment would facilitate thoughtful planning. A short solo-dolo retreat to the Canary Islands earlier this month afforded me the opportunity to gain perspective on my daily routine and refine my plans.
Namsta and the Change Curve
When all is said and done, I would identify my current position on the change curve as 'acceptance'. Although I thought I had accepted my circumstances a few years ago, my recent experience with burnout revealed that I was merely functioning on autopilot.
Despite being human, yearning for different circumstances hindered my acceptance of reality and subsequently extended my distress. A crucial lesson I have learned is to avoid suppressing my emotions while continuously mastering the art of regulating them.
By practicing acceptance, I recognise what is beyond my control and acknowledge situations as they are. While it is important to understand that some triggers may be overwhelming, I will extend grace to myself during such times. Even when it is less than favourable, I feel that life is always trying to teach me something.
Made with Love: Introducing Crafty Namsta Designs…
During the stickier moments of 2024, I discovered a love for customising bags. I can’t lie. This hobby was certainly a calming distraction during my recent exhaustion episode.
What began as personalising tote and crossbody bags for friends is now evolving into the creation of a brand.
What excites me most about these one-of-a-kind pieces is that their designs are as unique as their future owners.
Click on this link to check out the recently created 'Crafty Namsta Designs' Instagram account. More details to follow as things progress (*thumbs up emoji*).
A big cheers as always for checking out my post, it’s deeply appreciated.
Stay blessed! Xx
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